Asking too much?

Is this numbness or is this pain?

I doubt if trust and love remains.

You were shady, now asking me for sympathy.

How big should this little heart of mine be?

I am the truth, you gave me lies.

Even half truth, friendship slowly dies.

We used to be so close and tight.

That’s why I don’t want us to fight.

But dear if you use commonsense.

Something you asked was too intense.

How do you want me to think or feel?

You lie, you cheat, you stab, you steal.

From now it won’t be like before.

I’ll shut my eyes, my ears, my door.

So long my friend, let’s keep a distance.

I think you’ve forget that I’m human.

I prefer having you as my ex…but it should have been me

So it’s all been done and you are long gone.

Now that we are not together, talking to you seems strange but strangely comforting.

Maybe it’s because you know me as much as I know me and I know you as much as you wish she does.

However, we prefer having each other as past-tense, don’t we?

After all, she’s your present-perfect.

(English grammar metaphor somehow sounds creative and make sense)

BUT it should have been me.

It should have been me.

By Andreas Johnson

Lay down by my side, the truth won’t hurt me now

Even in this last goodbye, there is beauty we can’t deny

Maybe, maybe, maybe it’s a crime dear…

Maybe, maybe, maybe I don’t want to see

Why you give yourself away… when…

It should have been me, should have been my love

It should have been me, should have been my kind of love

Escape with me tonight, this moment is all there is

When the morning comes we’re cast aside, now there’s farewell in every kiss

You stumble through emotions with great and deep concern

You cross my line of defense, you know how weakness makes me yearn

Then you throw my love away, afraid of what you see

Hell, you ought to know by now…

It should have been me, should have been my love

It should have been me, should have been my kind of love

When you walk beside her down the aisle in her brilliant wedding dress

When the ring is on your finger, and she wants you to get undressed

Will she fall into your arms, will you set her spirit free, will she ever get to know…

It should have been me

Maybe, maybe, maybe I’m alone here

Maybe, maybe, maybe I don’t want to see

When you give yourself away…

It should have been me, should have been my love

It should have been me, should have been my kind of love

 

Truth hurts…OUCH

The fear of majority

Before coming here to the UK, I watched a video clip of Kingston University orientation and somehow fear arise within me.

That’s not normal.

Because there are so many foreigners together at once…most are none Asian.

I am somewhat scared. Just a tiny bit though.

Is that normal?

Yesterday I went to Saatchi Gallery: British Art Now.

I saw few works that I like and it could explain my tiny fear of majority.

OK, the picture is small but in real scale it’s hundreds and hundreds of speakers. Installed into a piling mountain of speakers.

Echoing the sound of super slow opera.

Same thing doing the same thing in a same place.

Scary…but somehow I was standing there and I felt calm.

Being in a place that you are different from others in that place allows you to stand out without even trying.

But the challenge is that you have to blend in as well.

Now that I’m here, wandering around in the capital of United Kingdom, I am different.

I feel different.

But I know that everyone is just like me.

We all have the fear of majority.

And that makes us…us.

Attention to details

Yesterday was my one week anniversary in London.

I have discovered many inspirational aspects that this city has to offer.

But one thing that I really picked up on yesterday was the attention to details that London has.

I was on a bus from King’s Cross to Oxford street when suddenly a senior couple wanted to get on.

The gentleman…probably my grandfather’s age…pushed the lady on the wheel chair and run towards to bus…

Imagine…70 something couple…RUN!!!

Then they somewhat patiently waited for the bus…which eventually stopped and pop out a sliding path for the gentleman to slide his dear wife in…I know it’s plain and simple…but it makes me smile.

Those little details in life, we can live without it.

But would it be nicer if we pay attention to those details and appreciate it?

I think so…

London…quieten down I need to make a sound!

How can we  know where live would take us unless we are there?

Guess we will never know…I don’t know too.

But here I am in London and I’m enjoying everything of it.

From the fucked up weather, the convenient but complicated transportation system, the pain from walking,  getting lost, getting found and all that.

If I don’t hate it at the first place…I’ll be just fine

With open mind and open eyes…

I’m ready

London…are you ready for me?

It’s not good or bad, it’s yes or no

When it comes to love…standard is bullshit

No matter how good you are or try to be…if you’re not right then it won’t work.

And even if you’re bad to the bone…if it fits well then congratulation on that. It will work.

So don’t bend over backwards just to please that special someone…just be yourself.

Don’t try to be so smart or pretend to be stupid…IQ doesn’t work in this case…EQ does though.

Don’t blame it on fortune…no one has control over how a person could like another person.

Because love is senseless…so don’t try to make any sense out of it 🙂

Use your heart, not your head…choose the right organ

Choose feeling before thinking

And just let it flow

เรื่องของใจ…ใช้มาตรฐานวัดไม่ได้

จะเป็นคนดี หรือ พยายามเป็นคนดีแค่ไหน…ถ้ามันไม่ใช่ เค้าก็ไม่เอา

หรือมีต้นทุนเป็นความเลวติดตัว…แต่พอดีอย่างที่อีกฝ่ายต้องการ…ก็สมควรกันดี

ไม่ต้องไปบ้าจี้ทำอะไรให้ใครมารัก

ไม่ต้องพยายามฉลาด หรือ แกล้งโง่…IQ ไม่เคยสำคัญกว่า EQ ในเรื่องแบบนี้

ไม่ต้องโทษดวง…เพราะไม่มีใครบังคับใจใครได้

เพราะมันเป็นเรื่องของหัวใจ ไม่ใช้หัวสมอง…เลือกอวัยวะให้ถูก…

เลือกใช้ความรู้สึก ก่อนใช้ความคิด

แล้วปล่อยให้มันเป็นไป

June has passed and so did you…

June has passed and so did you.

Oh, how you made me bold and blue.

I was smart, till there was you.

Now I think I’m just a fool.

I was lost and you were found.

My head and heart you’ve messed around.

Feels like falling…falling down.

Please lift me up from hitting the ground.

But you know what, I’ll be fine.

It’s not like I am going to die.

I’m glad I know someone like you.

And from now on I don’t have to.

So live your life, and you may try…

To make it better without me by your side…

Simple happiness

So I took leave from my work last Friday to study for IELTs

Was at Sugar Lust since noon…reading like a mad women…occasionally logging on to facebook :p

But the weather is too nice to ignore…and the shop owner got a cute bike…so why not go for a little ride?

Oh…it makes me feel like a child again…

Tiny Heartbreak

A lot / alone

It’s just a feeling
Feeling of longing for something for too long

And the fear of losing such feeling

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